Let me start off by saying that even with these challenges that I’m about to discuss, I wouldn’t change any of it. My daughter is one of the best things in my life, and she is so precious to me.
I talked about this briefly in my labor and delivery story, but both Zoé and I wound up on antibiotics after she was born due to my testing positive for Group B strep, and my spiking a fever after she was born. Now this in itself was a challenge for me. I had to watch my helpless newborn have IV’s in her little hand for the first 2 days of her life. But that wasn’t the only challenge that was faced from the antibiotics. After we got home it became clear that we were both having reactions to the medication. Both of us would get hives, and anytime my breast milk touched my skin for the first 2 weeks, it would burn and I would again get hives. This has slowly gotten better. And there were a few other issues from the antibiotics that I won’t get into, but they could’ve caused some problems.
Latching has also been an issue. When we were still in the hospital she was latching, and doing really well with it, but she was having a few issues. When we went to her first appointment with her pediatrician, at 6 days old, we found out Zoé has a lip tie. It’s a minor one, but still a lip tie nonetheless. We were told that if it caused issues, it would be speech related, and that it didn’t need to be clipped. Well, a few days went by and I started to notice that Zoé just wasn’t latching, like she was in pain, and she wouldn’t sleep at night (which she had been doing, and still does). So I decided to check her tie, it was inflamed. So I figured that was the issue. I talked to this great woman I know, and she pointed me in the direction of a nipple shield. Basically it’s exactly like it sounds, it’s a shield that goes over the nipple. It has been a life saver. I went out and bought one, came home, put it on, and decided to try to feed Zoé. She latched right on the first time without an issue, she was happy. And she again started sleeping through the night. My plan at this point is to find someone that will clip the lip tie, so that my baby doesn’t have to struggle. But for now I’m so thankful that I found out about the shield and that she can eat without a problem.
My sleeps through the night. I’m not sure how I got a baby that does that. I mean, we have had a few 4am nights, that she just wouldn’t settle down. But for the most part she’s in bed by 11pm(she eats right before this), and she’ll sleep until 4 or 5am to eat, and then she’ll sleep until 7 or 8am, before officially waking up. Even if this doesn’t continue (which I’m praying it does), her sleeping so well, has really helped me with healing after having her, because I actually feel rested.
I can now do domestic things with one hand. Of course that has been made easier by using a ring wrap. But goodness, as a mom, you really learn how to do things one handed, and in my case it seems like I have to do things one handed with my non-dominant hand.
What I love most about being a mom:
I love when I wake up in the morning and my little baby is right there smiling back at me, and making the sweetest little noises. I love watching her get so excited when she hears or sees her Daddy. I also love watching her explore the world around her, and wondering to myself what could possibly be so interesting. I also love when she’s nursing, and she looks up at me with her big blue eyes and smiles do big that she practically unlatches herself.
I’ll never forget the first time she realized that Mommy was one of her comfort zones. She was being held by some family, and she started to get upset, because she was being passed too much. She was crying so hard, so I took her. Once she realized it was me, she grabbed hold of my shirt really tight, looked at me, calmed down, and went to sleep. It nearly made me cry. It was the first time that she didn’t need me just for food, but for something more. She just wanted her Mommy.
Being a new mom is definitely challenging, but I love it. I love getting to watch this little human that I grew inside of me for 9 months, grow everyday. There are some days that I still can’t believe I’m a mom to a precious little girl, that I actually have a daughter. I love you, my little Zoébeañ.